Hey and welcome back to my space of ramble, hope you enjoy your delightful little stay, today I wanna go off blog topics and talk about something that bugs me really badly because I get so many judgemental looks and shakes of the head for being unemployed. So let’s talk about that…
Now as many do, we all go through the spiel of completing job application after job application and not getting anywhere fast or at all in my case. Now I do this thing after about a week of solid looking for a job (which by the way I shouldn’t actually be doing as I’ve been labelled unfit for work but everyone judging me makes my anxiety go through the roof and makes me feel even worse about myself – as if I didn’t feel pretty fucking shitty right?) Then I get fed up, I get annoyed with nobody even having the decency to reply to my job applications and I start getting sarcastic and basically tanking my job applications on purpose because at least then I know, fuck it, I did this to myself. Then I go off and sulk for a week or so and come back and do the same thing, it’s a vicious circle and I’m beginning to think my doctor is right for saying I’m unfit for work… If I can’t even handle the process to attain work.
Below I’ve dropped a screen shot of my answers on a job application today, of what I start to get like when I’m applying for jobs.
Now, I assure you it’s not because I don’t want to be working as to why I start tanking my applications, it’s because I’m so desperate to find something to be proud of and not be judged on that I am just getting fed up of being ignored, disregarded.
When you have severe mental health problems, including ones to do with the way you view yourself, as a person… Someone not replying to you, or just completely disregarding you takes a knock at your self confidence and for my lovely little ensemble of mental health problems it triggers the ‘fuck it’ button and I basically become super sarcastic, irrational, impulsive and just a bit of a knob head really…
Whilst I appreciate that someone is going to go through this and sigh that I’ve wasted their time with this shit, I just want people to understand the impact on us not having you simply reply, even if it’s telling us that we’re not going to be invited for a damn interview, just take the time out and tell us that… Otherwise you’re just completely disregarding us and it can actually make us feel like the worst human being on the planet, and can lead us down into our depression holes and we will start to second guess ourselves after we may or may not of made some progress in therapy… (I haven’t made any progress just yet but some of us have!)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my random, rambles of god knows what on job hunting with mental health ! Hope to see you again soon for the regular posts. Leave a comment below about your experiences with job hunting whilst suffering with mental health.. and as always like subscribe and follow me on all accounts.
Love you squishies.