Hello, welcome, welcome all again. I must thank you for returning to my chaotic mess of a blog, it must baffle you sometimes to my rambles, My apologies!
So, we’re here again friends, a place of probably quick topic changing, nonsensical words and sentences that don’t lead into each other, I’m sorry but my brain thinks faster than I can actually type sometimes… Which is a feat in itself since I type pretty damn quick.
Anyone have any old habits that are practically now part of your personality and all it’s little quirks? I have plenty apparently, as I’m learning from everyone now, as an attempt to make me feel better about myself I assume… Because my self esteem is either Godly or non existant.
Certain people can tell if I’m genuinely smiling or just smiling because I think the conversation calls for it, I didn’t know that people I knew could pick up the difference, I thought my acting was flawless.. Apparently I’m sorely mistaken as someone pointed out to me that I smile with my eyes when something has genuinely pleased me whereas if I don’t really mean it but think I should smile at this point in conversation it doesn’t quite reach my eyes… Funny that, no one has ever picked that out and told me.
A few people can now tell the difference between my mood shifts, usually if I’m having a tremendously bad day I’m still pretty good at coming across as ok, but apparently some people can pick it out, like a gut feeling that I’m not ok really I’m just trying to not burden anyone else with my shit… So then they proceed to not leave me alone and shower me with affection and motivation and stuff, It’s not a bad thing, it doesn’t really help I’m afraid for all the people who do it, but thanks anyway.. It’s really nice that you are trying to be that great friend who is helping me, so sorry if my mood doesn’t shift the way you want it to, I literally have zero control over that.
I have a weird habit of smiling and tilting my head to the side whilst closing my eyes, nobody usually picks up on it….. Someone the other day however picked it up and asked why I do it, I honestly don’t know, I haven’t a clue where it came from, I haven’t always done it… It just sort of happened one day and stuck and now I can’t stop myself from doing it.
When I get excited over something my whole body tenses up, I do a squeak and I’m literally like a child, nobody picks up on this, but it was pointed out to me the other day.. Why are people picking up on my embarrassing things now… Leave them be, it’s just a quirk to my personality. I am a child inside.
When I’m having a bad day, I try to isolate myself, I don’t like to interact with people, I don’t like to move much, if at all.. If I have to go out for any reason at all, I try to smile and shrug the task off like the quicker it’s done the quicker I can be at home being a part of the sofa zoning out, but apparently my smile is awkward as are my reactions to things… So note to self : Do not go out and try and function like a normal person whilst having a bad day… EVERYBODY can tell I’m being weird.
I randomly start dancing, I don’t care where I am, I don’t care who can see, I don’t care if it’s inappropriate, I randomly start dad dancing… Usually I only go out with my best friend and he knows and loves all the little quirks about me, he has said without them I just wouldn’t be me or as interesting, but I went out with another family member the other week and I have honestly never seen someone look so embarrassed in their lives than when I started dad dancing up an aisle of the supermarket. I’m sorry but I’m not sorry.
Not many people notice, because I’m extremely quick about it… But sometimes when someone brushes past me when I’m out or stands a little too close to me, I cringe and my body physically convulses for a second, another thing I can’t quite control.. I just really hate people touching me, whether I know them or not.. Sometimes if I know the person I’m not so bad, but strangers it’s like, I don’t know where you’ve been, what you’ve touched, what you have etc.
PUBLIC TOILETS. Now I hate using them, if I can hold it till I get home I bloody well will, but if I have to use a public toilet you would think I’m going into a contagious area. I have my sleeves down, I have my shirt over my nose, I’m in and out super fast, I not only wash my hands but all up my wrists, I then pull my sleeves over my hands, open the doors with my bum if it’s a push to get out.. I basically make sure I don’t touch anything upon leaving, and I still then put anti bacterial gel on my hands when I’m safe and outside… There’s something wrong with me I’m sure.
My left eye lid twitches when I’m hungry, I kid you not. My left eye lid starts to twitch if I am really hungry, so you don’t need to wait for me to get grumpy because I’m hungry because my eye lid will tell you.
I’m a quirky person, this isn’t even all my little quirks, I just thought I should be brief… So far these are the only ones that people have picked out and noticed, I’m hoping the rest stay unnoticed forever. Some of them are pretty embarrassing.
Love to you all!